So this weekend was fucking amazing.
I went to Clean & Free, a sober convention in Ocean Shores, and the situation just kind of got dropped in my lap. A friend of mine--well, I'm not so sure if he's my friend anymore, but I'll get to that--was having trouble finding an appropriately slutty recovery female to go with him, so naturally he settled for taking me instead (LAWL). We drove down to Ocean Shores and met up with an old friend of mine and her friend, and ended up abducting her friend to go and shoot Justin's .40 cal and make a trip to the casino. First of all, let me tell you that the casino is NOT a good idea for me just yet. I am far too much of a flailer to go and start pushing buttons on slot machines at random casinos.. so we left the casino, and this girl decided to stay there with her friend, who she met up with as we were walking out the door.
So Justin and I went back to the hotel room and I tried to sleep off the very trigger-ish feelings that I had developed whilst pushing buttons, and I spoke with my friend (Lexy) on the phone during that time, attempting to get Justin her friend (Haley)'s number. Lexy asked where we had left Haley, because we had abducted her so abruptly and been abandoned by her just the same. I informed her that her friend was at the casino still, and we got off of the phone.
Not long after, Lexy texted Justin's phone thinking it was mine, and said "So, the reason I can't give your friend Haley's number.. is because she wants YO' NUMBAH."
Justin looked at me with the saddest eyes and I was like "what, dude?" And he showed me. Oblivious to the ways of the world, I said (like a dumb ass), "I don't have a number.. I have a Facebook though, tell her I'll add her!"
:p
A few minutes later Lexy texted back "Awkwaaaaard.." and I don't know if that was because she had sent all of that to Justin's phone and thought it was mine, or if it was because her absolutely beautiful friend was trying to mack on me and I was too stupid to get it.
I finally figured it out, in any case, and told her that if her friend wanted my 'number' she could get it herself.
I didn't know this at the time, but Justin at that very same moment became a certain species of Superhater, and as I did my best to not hurt his feelings throughout the next day and a half, he would bombard my gorgeous friends (or "gorgeii," for plural) with Superhater text messages of the bullshit variety, threatening to relapse because his feelings were hurt and finally left me at the convention with them after checking out of the hotel unannounced and blocking me on Facebook. SUPER HATER.
It was totally worth it, though.
Anyway, Clean & Free was fucking amazing, and a lot of the speakers at the events there seemed to speak directly to me--again, my life is fraught with proof of a God that is completely aware of my plight and problems and loves to 'check' me through People Places & Things because it's hilarious for Him to see the look on my face.
There was an Irish convict named Sean that spoke at the Quinault (casino, post-triggerish button pushing trip, which I did much better at because I dodged the slot machines and went straight to the speaker meeting)that talked about putting on the mask of a "killer" because he had been to the Feds and robbed people for years, but that the reality was that that defense kept him sick in the long run, and that he didn't get recovery until he dropped the act and let people get close. He was an amazing speaker, and besides Haley--who could have done WAY better than me at that convention and after, and I had to think fast and be charming in the paint before she came to her senses--it was the highlight of my trip.
Let me tell you that I probably had little to nothing to do with any of the good things that happened to me this week end. Need proof? Look at my ENTIRE life before I went to treatment. The last good thing that my self-will had anything to do with was probably some Macaroni art in the third grade.
I'm definitely a fan of Clean & Free now, and I would recommend it to any recovering addicts in the world, I don't care if you have to fly from Japan to attend. :x
Later, maign!
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